Transference: What is it, and why do we therapists care so much?

Most of us have had the experience of meeting someone that rubbed us the wrong way, or a boss or a teacher that we just could not quite get along with. Sometimes these interpersonal experiences can be confusing because we cannot put our finger on exactly why these relationships are not working. The idea of “transference", first identified by Freud, and later elaborated on by many other analysts, can help us understand this phenomena and why it is so important.

All of us carry with us a certain host of internal figures, usually our parents or other guardians. As relationships develop, we tend to transfer the dynamics of our earlier relationships onto newer experiences. Problems can sometimes arise when these internal images and experience of oneself become distorted.

Sometimes, these internal images are transferred onto the therapist and the therapeutic situation. This is a wonderful opportunity. Psychotherapy with a therapist skilled in using transference offers the optimal platform for working through these earlier images and experiences. Many of us believe that this is the most important aspect of a therapeutic relationship.

How can we work through these early dilemmas in a proactive, in-the-moment way? It is via thinking about the ways the therapist and the therapeutic relationship remind you of earlier experiences. Here we can think of the clichéd response, ‘well maybe I remind you of your mother,’ or something similar. Though really, this is an invitation to work though and explore the way these early experiences continue to have a grip on current relationships and even your sense of self. It brings therapy beyond venting and catharsis, and into deeper change.

This is just a very broad overview of this psychological phenomena and please reach out if you wish to learn more!